Most little girls dream of having big weddings, but I wasn’t that little girl who dreamed of being married or having children. Solely because I watched my parents struggle throughout their marriage and they remained married because of me.
Even as a child, I refused to be that person or that wife! I wanted to be a writer, live on a beach and live a carefree life. But low and behold I became that person and that wife. I put all of my dreams in a bottle and watched them deteriorate.
But at that time, I didn’t care, I wanted to make our marriage work. I thought I was the magician to make the bad disappear and good appear regardless of him wanting to be loyal and faithful to me.
When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to make a good decision not only for me but our child. I stayed … but nothing changed … so after my son turned a year old I filed for divorce.
Once the judge hit the gavel, that was it. I was no longer a married woman.
While my witnesses and I gathered our belongs and prepared to leave the courtroom, the judge acknowledged me by my maiden name. Tears tried to break free but with all my might I held it together without using another disgusting habit.
As I walked out of the courtroom, my attorney grabbed my arm and softly asked if I was okay.
I knew if I spoke, tears would stormily flow, so I nodded and camouflaged my emotions with it a smile.
So many emotions cascaded through my mind, but at that point, all I wanted was to see my son.
I hugged and kissed him until he said, “No more kisses, Mommie”.
He laughed and wiped them off his checks. Of course, I took more and he allowed to me do so.
Amid the death of my marriage, my son’s comical gesture and innocence soothed my pain.
That was what I needed because he is one of the main reasons I had to regain my strength back.”
A huge weight was lifted and I became so light and free. I am not saying my life has been easy since the divorce, but over time it has gotten better. My ex-husband and I do better as co-parents, and my son seems happy. And we are making sure of it.
Regardless of the reasons behind your divorce, make sure you are making the right decision for you. Just remember, you are the only one that can make yourself happy. I had to learn self- love, self- acceptance, and self-confidence in order to manifest happiness and blessings into my life. And you can too!
Here are a few tips to get yourself back into the groove of YOU!
1) Start journaling! That is the best way to get to know yourself again. Read it out loud or even better record it, to hear yourself — to hear the pain or the joy after reading what you wrote.
2) Exercise! Yeah right, you say… It can be something so simple such as a brisk walk through the park, a 30-minute yoga session, turn the music up and dance around your room. Don’t act like you don’t do it already! Have fun with being you again.
3) Meditation and/or prayer. Sit in a quiet area, relax and just chime into that inner voice. Create peace and tranquility for yourself and in your home.
4) Look in the mirror as must as you would like and recite these phrases: I am beautiful. Worthy of respect. Overcomer of difficulties. Brave and strong. Loving me is not selfish. Of course, you can include other positive and meaningful words to describe how wonderful you are. The main thing is that you have to truly believe what you projecting into the atmosphere.
5) That career you always wanted to pursue. Hmmm… how about you just do it. Yep, it’s that simple. Yes, you have to do research! Yes, it will take time! But hey, success doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen!