There are two types of moms that I think we all experience once we become a mom. There’s the ‘I got this mom’ and there’s the ‘what should I do mom?’. I’ve been in both spaces and I’m sure you have too. We look at the type of parents our mothers and grandmothers were, how our friends parent and immediately we think that we’re doing something wrong or we’re not doing enough of something. For me, I never really paid attention to the way my mother parented us, but I remember my grandmother vividly. The more I remember my grandmothers care I see it in my mother when it comes to my girls. Before that I was like, “I’m not gonna be like my mother, she’s too passive. I’m gonna be my own parent”. Ha. You never know how wrong you are until you become your mother. Be that as it may, I still try to make sure that when I am parenting my daughters, I’m using my best judgement. Mama not gon’ always be here so I’ve got to trust myself and the choices I make when it comes to raising my girls.
I say all of that to say this, stop looking at how your mother or your grandmother or your mother-in-law parents. Sure the advice is good and they may have more experience than we do and it may seem as though their way is better, but let me say this, your way is just as good. You have got to trust yourself. IF your way of disciplining your child is to take their phone then by all means, take the phone. No one knows your child better than you do. IF your child is like my daughter, on the phone all the time, then taking the phone away for a few days after bringing home bad grades is OKAY. Don’t allow other folk to make you feel bad for the routes you choose to take as a mom. Unless your way is harmful to your child, mentally, physically or emotionally, then yes, by all means, HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS. Trust yourself. Go with your gut.
On the other side, if your child is coming home from school or is on academic suspension because of his/her academic performance in school and you allow them to come home daily and do everything, but study or you aren’t doing everything in your reach to make sure that your child is getting the most out of school, then guess what, you have to HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS. Motherhood is not all good. There are going to be some hard emotional heavy moments and or days that you may experience. You cant go it thinking that the sun is always going to be shining, while that might be so, it usually comes after or before the rain. Mothering is about being who and what your child needs to be a happy healthy productive member f society. Don’t be afraid to mother and be a mother. Don’t worry about the way your friends are parenting and don’t worry about how your mother parented. Do it the best way you see fit. Don’t worry about opinions because they are inevitable. Do you. HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS