Let me ask you this? And be honest. When your child left home for the first time to spend the weekend with his/her Dad, how did you react?
I cried profusely to the point that I hyperventilated when my son left for the weekends to be with his Dad.
My emotional reaction didn’t have anything to do with me not trusting my ex-husband or feel my child would be in any harm or danger.
I deeply felt my son needed ME every moment… every second of his life. Granted primary custody, I was accustomed to being the one he woke up to every morning, made sure his needs were met, tucked him in at night, read him his favorite bedtime story; you get my drift.
Leaving my house was not an option. I know… I know… A total wreck, huh?!
Back to my confession! Unintentionally, I began isolating people and staying at home and this went on for months (okay – nearly a year). Then concerned close friends and family reassured me it will get better over time. They basically told me I had no choice but to get over it. In my mind, I questioned their unwanted advice because neither of them had walked in my shoes. And what they had to say, didn’t matter to me. Oh yes, Sis, I got beside myself with that one. I didn’t want to listen to my friends or my Mom because of my broken spirit.
Out of the blue, my ex-husband started sending me pictures and videos of our son. But there was one particular video changed my whole outlook on things. *Hallelujah hands*
He sent me a video message from my little guy.
As he looked into the camera with his big brown eyes and contagious smile, he said, “Hey Mommie, look at me, Daddy is teaching me how to play baseball.”
He stood in position and swung the bat. My baby hit the ball that was sitting on the T ball post. He was proud of himself and so was I. He waved goodbye and said, “See you Sunday. I love you, Mommie.”
This was the sweetest gift I could ever received to help me redirect my state of mind. It was definitely an eye-opener to prove that his time with his Dad was just as valuable as it was mine. Plus, the advice my friends and family tried to install in me was valid and my “me time” was important!
Now, what?! I started finding different ways to occupy my time. Suggestions for you as well.
– SPA DAY! Get a full body massage (an hour – if you can handle it)! Try a pedicure, manicure or facial! Enjoy the pampered life.
– WEEKEND GETAWAY! Alone and/or with favorite gal pals, either way, is a win-win situation. There are several special deals for flights, hotels and car rentals. Plan it and hit the road!
– DATE NIGHT! – Yup, I said D.A.T.E! I know someone has recently asked you out on a date. If you are nervous, it’s understandable! If it has been awhile since you’ve dated, suggest a double date. That would be a great ice breaker and do activities you haven’t done in a while like bowling, miniature golf or tour an art gallery! You don’t have to get into a relationship to have a little fun.
– SHOPPING! Every woman’s weakness. We all know if you look good, you feel good! Shopping for a new wardrobe is sometimes a must, right?! Right!
– ME TIME is mandatory! Just be productive, meet new people and most of all, enjoy yourself! 😊