Communication is key! But it is also essential and mandatory when it comes down to co-parenting.
Us, parents have to maintain it (or at least try to make an effort) for the sake of our children.
Regardless of how the relationship or marriage ended, we have to let that shit go and learn how to properly use communication as a tool to become better parents. Believe it or not, our children are aware and can sense any negativity surrounding them. You may think they are too young, but it will linger on until they get old enough to know the truth. My sincere suggestion is to change it NOW.
You must know how to respectfully and honestly talk with the other parent; vice versa.
If you both are on the same accord, just imagine how amazing and easier it will be long term.
I will let you in on a little secret: After my divorce, I had to return to court because my ex-husband did not agree to the first parenting plan. And yo’ girl was livid! I was hotter than a firecracker. I thought he was being vindictive, but it wasn’t about me. It was about him spending more time with our son. So, I had to chill out, take a moment and do what was best for our son.
It took me a few weeks to get off my soapbox, but I did. And I’m happy, we finally came to a mutual agreement.
Even though my son is a momma’s boy, he enjoys more “father and son” time with his Dad. I can’t teach him how to be a man but I can definitely show him that his parents can genuinely get along because we both love him unconditionally.
Here are a few tips to help you with communication and co-parenting:
- You will not always agree on parenting styles and/or how to relay information. But if you’re in doubt, think about this: Always provide the other parent with information that you expect that parent to give to you. Yup… burn a bit, huh? It’s true though. You can be brief, straight to the point, but stay focused on your child.
- Don’t bring up past problems or situations, especially if it’s not concerning your child. Stay positive and use a business-like tone. Remember the reason for your communication! All you doing is passing on information to the other parent about the specifics.
- Be open to hearing each other out! If you don’t agree, list pros and cons, figure it out without yelling or loud talking. None of that will get any points across! It’s about the child, not each other’s egos. If the child is present or not, parents should use respectful language when communicating with one another.
- Let the other parent know how you feel about a certain situation. You ever know how he or she may react. Trust me! I made suggestions to my ex-husband (vice versa) and he totally agreed. Give it a shot and your ex just may calmly give his explanation, if he disagrees. At the end of the day, you both have to come to an agreement.
- Put up the phone and call Tyrone, girl! It took almost a year and a half for me and my ex-husband to actually talk. I am not referring to just text messages, we actually talk on the phone and/or in person about our child. Text messages have a tendency to go left quick. You can’t always decipher the tone of a message. It’s okay to text occasionally like little reminders of some sort, but not a lengthy paragraph to discuss important or serious matters.
Communication and co-parenting go hand and hand, it can’t be stressed enough. It can be tough, but its worth seeing your child happy.